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  • Writer's pictureDavid Watson

Follow up from last week

So last week I wrote about how your foundations can get destroyed, and the world you know, no longer makes sense.

How do you recover?

Put simply, with time and some difficulty, I won’t lie, it won’t be easy, and this is because you were heavily invested, in fact you most likely put all of your eggs in one basket. And for the record, that’s the only way to plan a real future with someone, so don’t beat yourself up about it.

And in the turmoil and trying to see through the dust as the rubble settles, we can start beating ourselves up. Now is the time for understanding and kindness.

Easier said than done I know. I really do know how hard it is to be kind to yourself right now, to find anything about yourself you like. To find anything about yourself, which is worthy, which can be loved.

If my ex doesn’t want me why would anyone else. If my ex treated me so badly must have deserved, it. This list, this condemnation can go on forever, and this is where you have to stop, pause and pull your socks up.

Despite what you think, you are not a worthless piece of shit!

Moving forward time becomes your problem. Looking back you have a library full of memories and experiences. Every time you want to do something your brain dips into the reference library and guess what? It finds a reference to your ex!

The hardest steps are the ones you take forward, they’re also the essential steps.

A caveat to this, you might be afraid. You’re going to have to try new things, meet new people, discover who you are. The greatest gift you can give yourself right now is to discover who you are.

I’d suggest starting with either what are you curious about, or what brings you joy.

If something makes you happy, it’s extremely hard to be sad.

If something makes your curious it has your attention, and it’s extremely hard to become distracted.

Lastly, unless children are involved, cut contact. No checking in, no listening to them complain about their week. And Never! Ever! Let them put you down and blame you.

The relationship is over, and they’ve lost all rights and privileges. You owe them nothing. #

You ow yourself everything.

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